Mobirise review

NEWS ARCHIVE 2010-2006

Old news 

November 2010

NEW SINGLE
And another! The clocks have gone back, the nights are drawing in and the young people are once again playing with fireworks. By way of a bit of escapist fun, perennial LTS favourite David Loophead returns with more blistering guitars and 60mph bongos. Amongst all this, Ventilation Shaft even features a little tip of the hat to the sounds of Bollywood.
 
FORTHCOMING DISTRACTIONS
There has been a flurry of activity in The Hessian Palace of late and we're pleased to report that this should result in a number of releases in the near future. Check out the Release Schedule page for hints of the treats in store. 
 
HAPPENINGS IN CANADA
Last time we noted that our Canadian friends HANK are on hold but there is good news in the form of a recent update and some new material from their "Weekly Weeping" series. www.weepingtruckers.com. Enjoy.
 
LEARN TO SWIM on FACEBOOK
Still available at http://www.new.facebook.com/home.php#/pages/Learn-to-Swim/19845736140 although if you're already on this website, there's little point going there, still you can "like" us and get the occasional update with news of new releases in amongst all the "Which Former British Home Secretary Are You?" stuff.

August 2010

NEW SINGLE
Can we stand the pace? No of course not. But here, somehow, is another release. Back to the front page is our resident sonic landscapist Pete Nitrous. Three reflections on something which is no doubt at the more arcane end of the spectrum. It is apparently a "mimetic sequence" and may be the first of several. Right. Anyway, there's a good funky bass on track 2.
Click here to listen and decode your own meaning
 
HAPPENINGS IN CANADA
Our dear friends HANK have fallen into some kind of musical limbo for the time being, which seems an inappropriate term to use to describe a band who have raised the bar so much. Yes, we are resorting to particularly weak jokes in order to mask our deep disappointment. However, all is not lost because the occasional crumb of comfort does drop from the great table via their website www.weepingtruckers.com in the form of downloads and tantalising news. Take heed and listen.here was no news in 2017.
Well, none that we wish to think about.

June 2010

NEW RELEASE
Would you believe it? Another single, within the same actual year? Somehow an appalling number of years seem to have slipped by since we last heard from this month's celebrant. For reasons best known to themselves, The Crisps have chosen to return with Monsters. It is subtitled "A Guide for Children Everywhere". We're not sure how to take that: is it cautionary or an incitement?
 
MUSIC TIP OF THE MONTH
Listen to some Balinese Gamelan music. Seriously. Forget about all that guff about being pretentious and having an eclectic music taste and how seasoned a traveller you are. Just listen to some of the music. It's unbelievably beautiful. 
 
HAPPENINGS IN CANADA
You must surely have listened to HANK's The Luck of the Singers by now? You should also check out the new album "Monody" by the suavely funky gentleman known simply as MANTLER. We particularly enjoyed "Childman" and "Author".

March 2010

WE'RE BACK!
2010, you say? We don't want to give you excuses. There are no excuses. Rest assured, we have missed you.
 
NEW SINGLE
Who else could we return with but Hair by Roger? Evening is one of their semi-mythical "lost" singles which has apparently been a work in progress for longer than they care to remember. Or indeed can remember. Three more slices of ambience in the present-participle form.
 
HANK
Learn to Swim remains as besotted as ever with our favourite transatlantic rapscallions HANK. Have you listened to The Luck of the Singers lately? Why not? You should also check out the astonishing spin-off Sir Clement which is possibly the most rock'n'roll thing since whatever it was Fats Domino thought was such a shame. 

LEARN TO SWIM on FACEBOOK
If you're part of that melee of silly games about cats and messages from people you only dimly remember from school and would like to find us on Facebook, we're here (it's changed): http://www.new.facebook.com/home.php#/pages/Learn-to-Swim/19845736140

July 2009

WE'RE BACK!
It has been a rather long time. Technical issues: total failure of all systems which not even a sonic screwdriver could fix. Some months and a sizeable investment in new equipment later, it's as wonderful to be back with you as Ronnie Corbett used to claim it was. The new systems are still being road tested but in the meantime, let's relax in the sunshine...
 
NEW SINGLE
This month's celebrates the fact that Britain has had several days of Genuine Summer Ira Snowmelt Trio return with their first work since 2007. Three Expressions for Summer aims to capture that casual, relaxed attitude which even the dourest of us feels when the sunshine comes out.
 
BONUS RELEASE
A much loved associate of Learn to Swim recently walked away with minor injuries from what could have been a fatal car accident. To celebrate life and love, we present Safe and Well, written mere hours later as we gave thanks that the laws of physics were in a good mood that day.
 
OTHER NEWS
There will be forthcoming releases. We can assure you of that. These may even include some interesting new developments in the field of tall tales and ghostly anecdotes.
 
CHANGE OF NAME
An announcement from the Hessian Palace: before they have even managed to release their long awaited debut, Griffin have decided to change their name. Ashamed and disgusted as we all were by the election of the British National Party to the European Parliament, all of us at Learn to Swim have decided that we don't want to create any kind of association between ourselves and the unashamedly racist BNP. We're saddened enough that we're even soiling our lovely website with their name. It's been agreed that the band should pick an alternative and less offensive name. They're now called "Murder!" in honour of Deep Roy's finest hour.
 
HANK
Here at Learn to Swim, we're still, even now blown out by the MAGNIFICENT new album by the mighty HANK. It is as you should all know by now entitled The Luck of the Singers and is, to be blunt, fucking marvellous. You can even download much of it entirely for free here but we strongly recommend you buy it. On vinyl. Yes, that's right it's a proper record. For grown ups. Don't mess with my collection.

September 2008

NEW SINGLE
This month's offering sees our resident sonic landscapist Pete Nitrous return with a three-part invention which both chills out, down and sometimes even back the way it came. The title of the piece, My Life is Perfect Except That I am Being Followed by a Goblin, is open to your own interpretation:a Faustian sense of unease, a feeling of contentment tempered by paranoia, a jar of beautiful ointment containing a bluebottle? Make up your own mind. Just play at low volume and take long deep breaths.
Click here to listen.
 
HANK
Here at Learn to Swim, we're fortunate to have the kind of connections which enable us to get a sneak preview of the new album by the mighty HANK COLLECTIVE. It's called The Luck of the Singers and is, to be blunt, fucking marvellous. Watch out for it any day now. If you're not yet drooling-at-the-mouth at the thought, you should be.
 
COMING DISTRACTIONS
The releases page has the usual arcanely optimistic guesses about what will be coming in due course. It's just a distraction.
 
LEARN TO SWIM on FACEBOOK
There's a new Learn to Swim page on Facebook. If you're part of that melee of silly games about cats and messages from people you only dimly remember meeting at a club one night and would like to find us, we're here (it's changed): http://www.new.facebook.com/home.php#/pages/Learn-to-Swim/19845736140
 
STAGGERINGLY CLEVER NEW FLASH PLAYER THING
Don't forget you can now listen to every single track on the site through this miracle of modern programming technology. We didn't invent it, but it's lovely. 

July 2008

NEW RELEASE
Out of a murky shade of blue, the unruly young ladies who call themselves the Daughters of Cargill have decided to take a break from their seemingly endless round of clubbing to favour us with a lovely new tune by the name of "Skin". We detect strong hints of mascara and beehive hairdos. We'd like to point out that the title of the second track "Get the F--- Out of Here" was not censored by Learn to Swim. Apparently they think it's more fun if it's left ambiguous because that way it could be about a frog. Click here to listen.
 
STAGGERINGLY CLEVER NEW FLASH PLAYER THING
We have long sought an answer to the problem of how to let you just listen to all the goodies on the site without all that tedious mucking about downloading. At last, we've finally found The Solution: every release is now accompanied by a little Flash player. Gordon's alive??? (That's enough Brian Blessed - Ed.) which lets you listen to all the tracks one by one - or they'll run through as a playlist if you wish. When it works. To celebrate this Great Leap Forward, we've taken the opportunity to redesign the format of the releases...well, OK, we had to in order to fit the thing in. As well as the nice new player, there's now a simple download button marked "download" in friendly letters which should let you download a particular track if you wish. So no more clicking on the song titles. We'll be updating the help page at some stage to reflect this additional wave amongst the tide of modern technology.
 
COMING PROTRACTIONS
The releases page has the usual hopelessly optimistic guesses about what will be coming in due course. As evidenced by this month's release which was completely unplanned, we can't honestly claim to know whether any of it's true or not. But hey.
 
HANK
Clearly intending us to set a challenge, the mighty HANK COLLECTIVE have posted numerous updates to their splendid another-new-look website of late, with mouthwatering promises of long awaited new albums. And yet they're still more prolific than Griffin. Say hello from us if you visit.

April 2008

NEW RELEASE
Those lovely men Hair by Roger have finally returned to us with a new offering in the form of their much awaited third single Lingering. Is it really three and a half years since the last one? You could be forgiven for thinking them less than prolific but, to be fair, they have been beset by technical difficulties for the last two years and are keen to maintain their high standard rather than meet our spurious deadlines. In fact, this was actually planned as their fifth release: as the mysterious technical problems continue to trouble the two further works which should have been issued in the meantime. But who cares about such things? For the moment, just lie down, close your eyes and relax. Click here to listen.
 
LEARN TO SWIM on FACEBOOK
There's a Learn to Swim page on Facebook. It contains no exclusives other than a picture which we've simply not bothered to put on the website yet. If that doesn't whet your appetite then...er...it's probably a reasonable position to take. If you're on Facebook and would like to find us, we're here: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=6740578927

COMING DISTRACTIONS
On the releases page are some guesses about what will be slowly dribbling forth from the pipelines of creativity in the coming months or, more likely, years. Your guess is as good as ours.
 
HANK
Our splendid friends across-the-pond-and-up-a-bit, the mighty HANK COLLECTIVE have started posting new material on their website for you to download at your leisure. Rather splendid it is too. Say hello from us if you visit.

January 2008

HAPPY NEW YEAR
To those of you who recognise this as the start of a new year. If you don't, please accept our good wishes in advance of whenever your own culture dictates that you put up a new calendar on the kitchen cupboard.
 
NEW SINGLE
We enter 2008 with Acid Wilhelm and pray to whatever forces you believe in that it's upwards from here on. Undoubtedly, Music Through A Microscope is his most obscure offering yet being apparently four soundscapes inspired by bodily functions seemingly selected at random. A frontal-striatal loop is, we are informed, the part of the brain which Scientists believe detects the passage of time (known as "Shatner's Bassoon" in the wacky scientific community. Fact). 
 
LEARN TO SWIM on FACEBOOK
We've decided to enter the world of social networking and have created a Learn to Swim page on Facebook. Seeing as we're about 2 years beind the rest of the world on this, we'll just sit back and see what happens. If you're on Facebook and would like to find us, we're here: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=6740578927
 
COMING ATTRACTIONS
At the bottom of the releases page are the best guesses we can offer about what will be issuing forth from the pipelines of creativity in the coming months. Your guess is as good as ours. 
 
HANK
Our friends across-the-pond-and-up-a-bit, the mighty HANK COLLECTIVE have recently relaunched their website and rather splendid it is too. There's a particularly interesting article on the history of Hank which gives some insight into the arcane origins of Learn to Swim itself.

November 2007

NEW RELEASE
To cheer us all up as winter approaches, long time favourites Oh Joyous Diner return with three tracks expounding the simple pleasure of eating salad. 
Click here to listen.
 
FIVE YEARS
Where does the time go? All of us have grown a little older but barely any the wiser. Nevertheless, five years is a long time and a lot of music. In September we marked the 5th anniversary, and this month we hit two other landmarks: our THIRTIETH single now taking us over ONE HUNDRED individual tracks. Because we get a bit emotional from time to time, we want to take this opportunity to thank you for sticking by us through the years. Sometimes we fall silent for months on end, sometimes the music simply pours out. Whatever happens, it's good to know that you're out there, listening. If you fancy a trip back through time, our entire back catalogue is available on the website - Free, as always - click here to see what those five years have added up to.
 
CURRENTLY IN THE STUDIO
And it still goes on....next month Acid Wilhelm will take us into the Winterval nights with possibly his most obscure offering yet. You may have noticed that at the bottom of the releases page, there's a few ideas about what's in the pipeline. And yes, it's true: Griffin are finally at work.
 
HANK: THE SOCIETY OF SIX.
Our friends across-the-pond-and-up-a-bit, the mighty HANK COLLECTIVE have released a fabulous promotional film to accompany their new single The Society of Six. You can view what our favourite Canadians have been getting up to by clicking here.

August 2007

NEW RELEASE
This month, Karswell return and with the rather kitsch sci-fi inspired La Devinette dans les Etoiles. Those of you who passed GSCE French should be able to work out what the title means. We have four tracks for you, ranging from fab, passing through groovy to the downright panic-stricken.
You can listen to all the tracks via a specially arranged hyperspace wormhole thing which you can activate if you click here.
 
DON'T FORGET THE ALBUM
The second volume of Learn to Swim, entitled Why Big Ideas Are Invisible From the Inside is still available, of course. Quite popular too judging by the number of downloads its been getting (must update the charts - Ed.)
Free as always. And don't forget to tell us what you think of it on our messageboard. Please. We'd love to hear from you.
CURRENTLY IN THE STUDIO
The rumours are all true: next month sees Acid Wilhelm return with possibly his most obscure offering yet. He seems to have been reading a book on biochemistry. That's all we can tell you right now. Despite still not having actually finished their third single, Hair by Roger have been exceptionally busy in the studio lately. Expect big results in the not too distant future.
 
THE COMPLETE WORKS
A reminder that, as of last month, our entire back catalogue of 115 tracks (plus 28 tracks by Cab Williamson's Waxworks) is available on the website for the first time. Ever. That's over FOUR HOURS of music. Free, as always.
 
HANK: THE SOCIETY OF SIX.
Our friends across-the-pond-and-up-a-bit, the mighty HANK COLLECTIVE have released a short promotional film to accompany their new single The Society of Six. According to the Godfather of Swim Acid Wilhelm, the video is "f***ing brilliant" (and he's normally so genteel!). You can view what our favourite Canadians have been getting up to by clicking >here<. We commend it to you.
 
BY THE WAY
We've had the place redecorated. Like it?
 
RELEASE SCHEDULE
You can find it by clicking here but it's not something to organise your life by. Let's face it, we clearly don't.

July 2007

THIS MONTH
At long last, we're pleased to announce the release of the second volume of Learn to Swim, entitled Why Big Ideas Are Invisible From the Inside.
 
As long term Swimmers will recall, the "volumes" series is where we round up all that's best from the world of Learn to Swim, dust it off, polish its toenails and fling it back at you. As the Godfather of Swim, Mr Wilhelm explains: "One of the things we tried to do this time was take that whole things-flowing-into-each-other schtick from the first album and go a bit further. This time, not only do the tracks merge seamlessly into one organic whole [we're assuming he means that with a "w"... - Ed.], we thought we'd try to link them with a few ideas and generally mash up our own stuff. Maybe it's getting a bit too close to being a concept album. Or perhaps it's just one of those 'deep' conversations you end up having at 3am when you've spent all day in the pub. I don't honestly know. I wouldn't take it too seriously. That's why there's no Bagman on it."
 
Click here to download the album. Free as always. And don't forget to tell us what you think of it on our messageboard. Please. We'd love to hear from you.
 
THE COMPLETE WORKS
To celebrate the release of Why Big Ideas Are Invisible From the Inside we've added a few other bits and pieces to the site. This includes Wiskin and Semlay's 25-minute head twisting epic An Egg Named Thought which was previously only available by contacting us directly. A number of tracks were taken offline recently due to server issues. They're now back. Best of all though, for the very first time, Learn to Swim Volume 1 is now available online in its proper form.
 
This means our entire back catalogue of 115 tracks (plus 28 tracks by Cab Williamson's Waxworks) is now available on the website for the first time. Ever. That's over FOUR HOURS of music. Free, as always.
 
CURRENTLY IN THE STUDIO
The Submercibles are back at work on a new, as yet untitled, 2-track single. Expect more shouting and fuzzy guitars. Having got bored with the technical difficulties hampering their much-awaited third single, Hair by Roger have decided to relieve the boredom by starting work on the fourth instead - details on their homepage. And all the folk involved in Karswell have been adding their various talents to a new soundtrack which, we gather, sees them going all sci-fi...but in French. Lastly, if all the eerie noises coming out of The Hessian Palace are anything to go by, it would seem Acid Wilhelm is soon to reveal the workings of his odd little mind. Again.
 
HANK: THE SOCIETY OF SIX.
Our friends across-the-pond-and-up-a-bit, the mighty HANK COLLECTIVE have released a short promotional film to accompany their new single The Society of Six. According to the Godfather of Swim Acid Wilhelm, the video is "f***ing brilliant" (and he's normally so genteel!). You can view what our favourite Canadians have been getting up to by clicking >here<. We commend it to you.
 
RELEASE SCHEDULE
You can still find it by clicking here but it's about as reliable as the British public transport system. We do like to be parochial.

June 2007

THIS MONTH
Has it really been over 2 years since we last heard from our resident "auditory landscape performance artist" Pete Nitrous? He now returns with a new effort entitled The Abode of Stones. The three tracks could well be about anything. You can never tell with him.
They're available to listen to here.

HANK
Our friends across-the-pond-and-up-a-bit, the mighty HANK COLLECTIVE have released a short promotional film to accompany their new single The Society of Six. According to the Godfather of Swim Acid Wilhelm, the video is "f***ing brilliant" (and he's normally so genteel!). You can view what our favourite Canadians have been getting up to by clicking >here<. We commend it to you.

FORTHCOMING ATTRACTIONS
We promise there'll be some. At some point. Learn to Swim Volume 2 is delayed due to internal discussions about the exact tracklisting. We can report that those lovely men Hair by Roger have asked for one of their tracks to be removed because, in their words "It's a bit lame isn't it?". Those of you who haven't already spotted it in the albums section might be interested to know that Volume 2 has a proper title: Why Big Ideas Are Invisible From the Inside. Coming soon. Ish. 

RELEASE SCHEDULE
Find it by clicking here. But we're making no promises.

February 2007

THIS MONTH
Lonesome singer songwriter Ben Bloody Thompson is back with three more characteristically bare tracks. The title "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Your Anger" is a wonderfully wise saying of John McLoughlin to whose memory this release is dedicated.
Click here to listen.

FORTHCOMING ATTRACTIONS
The third single from Hair by Roger is now long overdue but should be released in the next few months. And we can now reveal that, having lost their lead singer before they'd even got past their first release, discomaniacs Eyelash are now in rehearsals with a new lead vocalist.  

January 2007

THIS MONTH
The Ira Snowmelt Trio make a welcome return with two new tracks in their familiar laid-so-far-back-you-need-a-chiropractor style. Ways of Seeming has them the adding to their usual accoustic sound.

FORTHCOMING ATTRACTIONS
So what does 2007 hold for Learn to Swim? As regards old favourites, we can tell you that Ben Bloody Thompson is busy at the moment so expect to hear from him in due course and both Hair by Roger and Karswell also have work nearing completion. We'll also see the return of Lipsmacker with the follow up to last year's debut. There are also some new acts on the horizon including Timbertoe, The Bolts and (if they can find a new lead singer now that Gaynor has left to spend time being pregnant) Eyelash. And, of course, Acid Wilhelm, besides maintaining his production duties, will no doubt return with another batch of gurgly noises.
 
RELEASE SCHEDULE
Subject as ever to being completely ignored, but it does have a bit of curiosity value...find it by clicking here .

December 2006

THIS MONTH
Bagman's back. Everybody cheer.  
 
A GREETING
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter/summer (according to hemisphere) solstice holiday, practiced with the most fulfilling religious practices and/or most enjoyable secular traditions of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
 
We also wish you a fiscally sufficient, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great (not to imply that any one politically homogeneous nation state is necessarily greater than any other) and without reference to your gender idenity, race, creed, colour, age, physical or mental ability, religious faith, sexual preference or health / housing / financial status.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: 
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher(s) actually to implement any of the wishes for or on behalf of her / himself or others and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of any subsequent holiday or other personal greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

August 2006

THIS MONTH
Once in a while various members of the Learn to Swim family get together under the name Karswell to collaborate. Don't think supergroup - think of families and Christmas. Except without the turkey (unless Bagman's involved). For the second release under this name, we present Raspad - a collection of pieces used in a short film produced by an independent bunch of Russian film makers last year. "Raspad" is the name for the post-Soviet era of Russia (literally meaning "disintegration"). The story centres around Misha, who is 20 years old as Yeltsin comes to power and slowly realises that the certainties he was just learning to live with are tumbling down before his eyes. Cue lots of greying concrete, veiled threats, shadowy figures who may be friends and a potentially dangerous future. Sadly the planned broadcast of the film on RNT1 has hit trouble with the Russian censors, but you can still listen to the music. And there's a lot of it - all here.
Click here to listen.
 
CHARTS
The Download Chart has been updated and will now include the top five downloads every month as well as the ongoing top 20 and the top 5 artists. Bagman seems to be threatening Hair by Roger's position as most popular artist - but then again...
 
NEXT MONTH
As you can see on the release schedule, next month, ladies and gentlemen sees the much awaited third release by Hair by Roger
 
LEARN TO SWIM: VOLUME TWO
We're currently having the usual rows about what should go on the second compilation CD.
 
THE LEARN TO SWIM ORCHESTRA
What could it possibly be? No, we're still not saying.

July 2006

THE MAN ACID IS BACK
LTS father figure and genial host Acid Wilhelm brings you another of his perennial summer releases in the form of Hysterisis three more slices of noise in the dark. The title track Workaholism has been mixed by David Loophead and so is perhaps a little more, er, upbeat than the usual Wilhelm sound. In the sense that it actually has a beat, for once.
Click here to listen.
 
SYD BARRETT (1946-2006)
All of us at Learn to Swim were terribly sad to hear of the death of Syd Barrett. You can probably detect where his all-too-brief creative period has had a keen influence on many of us here. We'd like to recommend that you listen to the first of his two solo albums "The Madcap Laughs" by way of a tribute. RIP.

COMING SOON
In the fullness of time we'll have more from Hair by Roger and Karswell. We've also got a newcomer in the form of a rumbling man known only as Timbertoe. Those of you who are wondering what's happened to Bagman will be delighted to hear that you'll be able to keep wondering for the forseeable future.
 
THE LEARN TO SWIM ORCHESTRA
What could it possibly be? That's a question we'll leave hanging in the air for now. Enigmatic, eh? 

June 2006

BEEN A WHILE HASN'T IT?
Acid Wilhelm is, despite press reports to the contrary, still alive. Sort of.
 
NEW SINGLE
We return with a brand new band. Please welcome Lipsmacker with their double A-side Toxins which comes along with the equally marvellous Msg.

COMING SOON (OR EVENTUALLY)
In the pipeline are new singles by: Acid Wilhelm, Hair By Roger, Karswell...and a bunch of other new stuff. It'll turn up sooner or later. Promise 

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